we are all knowing, all seeing. well, we have a gig tonight at the 100 club on oxford street - a world famous venue that must not be underestimated. our pumpkin is outside on a wall and rotting. such a waste; we had such aspirations. we even had him christened so that he could attend the local catholic school - not because we believe in any of that um bongo - no, because this particular school performs the best out of all the schools in the area and it would have been a good start for him. god knows he needs a bit of luck - last week the poor bastard had his head chopped open and his brains and shit all scooped out. shall we change the channel? goodness. nowt on. oh well. hollyoaks - it's pretty poor but at least there are fine looking boys n girls to think about. we like the young lady who plays sasha and we don't mind telling you that we wouldn't mind meeting her down a dark alley. oh yes. what else? the washing machine is making a terrific racket - good fry up yesterday - sausages, eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast and tomatoes. mind you - it's pretty hard to get a fry up wrong innit. luke was heard to complain that his egg yolk and tomato juice had formed a sloppy pool at the outer rim of his plate - stuart advised him that of course that's why you save a bit of your toast to mop up that shit, however luke had already eaten all of his, thus - disaster! no clean plate for the poor soul. luke has a lot to learn if he means to gain greater knowledge of the greasy spoon. kev though? superb performance eating one part at a time, eg - first the chips, then the sausage, then the bacon - allowing no crossover to occur. kev is the fucking jedi master of eating burnt pig.
